They say it's your birthday!

When I write fanfiction, I usually have a rule that I only work on one at a time. This way, I can stay focused and make sure it gets done before moving on to something else, plus I don't have to think about a bunch of different fics on top of what my hectic real life. Well, they say rules are meant to be broken.

But I've got a good reason for that. I noticed a while ago that the birthday of a good friend in the Goemon fandom was fast approaching, so I halted production on the one I was working on at the time to write up something to celebrate the special occasion and show my gratitude. This is the result.

So, happy birthday, RandomS! It took me forever to come up with the story, and it ended up being the longest chapter of any fic I've ever written thus far, but I hope you like it anyway.

GG4 - Omitsu

Ganbare Goemon 4 (English) - Omitsu

And now, I present to you, the good people of the Interweb, the very strange Omitsu scene from Ganbare Goemon 4. Released on July 23, 2008, this video actually took several months to make. Finally, it's here for your viewing pleasure, as is the full script and a (hopefully) brief commentary. Here goes.

Goemon: Omitsu!
Omitsu: Goemon, it’s been a long time, hasn’t it?
Goemon: Omitsu, what are you doing here?
Omitsu: I missed you, Goemon. Say, do you like me?
Goemon: I like you!
Omitsu: It’s true! Say, do you like tanukis?
Goemon: I like tanuki udon.
Omitsu: My soft cheeks are much more delicious than any udon. Mm-hm!
Goemon: Omi-Omi-- Oh my...Dehehehe...
Goemon: Unn...huh? Where am I?
---
Goemon: Omitsu, what are you doing here?
Omitsu: I missed you, Goemon. Say, do you like me?
Goemon: I like you!
Omitsu: It’s true! Say, do you like tanukis?
Goemon: I like the goal tanuki.
Omitsu: Good! I’m glad! W-Wait, no, I’m not glad...So, why do you like it so much?
Goemon: I want the money from him.
Omitsu: Well, for the right price, my soft cheeks are very, very good.
Goemon: Dehe, dehe, dehehehe...
---
Goemon: Omitsu, what are you doing here?
Omitsu: I missed you, Goemon. Say, do you like me?
Goemon: I like you!
Omitsu: It’s true! Say, do you like tanukis?
Goemon: I like the goal tanuki.
Omitsu: Good! I’m glad! W-Wait, no, I’m not glad...So, why do you like it so much?
Goemon: Because I want to proceed.
Omitsu: Being away from you and all your encouragement would be bad. So, after this, we will be together forever.
Goemon: Ah, Omitsu, don’t go! Don’t go, don’t go...Ah!
---
Goemon: Omitsu, what are you doing here?
Omitsu: I missed you, Goemon. Say, do you like me?
Goemon: I hate you!
Omitsu: You’re so awful! You like Yae more than me!
Goemon: That kind of talk can’t possibly be true!
Omitsu: Yeah, you’re right...Say, do you like tanukis?
Goemon: I like tanuki udon.
Omitsu: My soft cheeks are much more delicious than any udon. Mm-hmm!
Goemon: Omi-Omi-- Oh my...Dehehehe...
---
Goemon: Omitsu, what are you doing here?
Omitsu: I missed you, Goemon. Say, do you like me?
Goemon: I hate you!
Omitsu: You’re so awful! You like Yae more than me!
Goemon: What the hell are you talking about?! Can’t you see that’s ridiculous?!
Omitsu: Well, do you suppose anybody is as charming as li’l old me?
Goemon: Ah! A smelly tanuki!
Omitsu: I’m shocked! (Gasp!) Oof...
Goemon: Eh? You’re kidding, right, Omitsu? You can’t die! Quit messing around and open your eyes! OMITSUUUU!
---
Omitsu: You’re so awful! You like Yae more than me!
Goemon: What the hell are you talking about?! Can’t you see that’s ridiculous?!
Omitsu: Say, do you suppose anybody is as charming as li’l old me?
Goemon: Eh? “Li’l old me?”
Omitsu: Ah, ha ha! No, no...I said “olé.” You know, like in soccer.
Goemon: You know, I’m pretty good at soccer.
Omitsu: It’s true! Say, do you like tanukis?
---
Omitsu: Ah, ha ha! No, no...I said “olé.” You know, like in soccer.
Goemon: That’s strange...
Omitsu: I’m telling you, I’m not a tanuki! Please believe me!
Goemon: Prove it!
Tanukichi: But my tail and my ass may be a bit too much proof for you! *Lick*
Goemon: N-Nose...bleed...oof! Pfft...
---
Omitsu: Ah, ha ha! No, no...I said “olé.” You know, like in soccer.
Goemon: That’s strange...
Omitsu: I’m telling you, I’m not a tanuki! Please believe me!
Goemon: You are a tanuki!
Tanukichi: Pon-poko-pon! You’re absolutely correct! One more thing before the end, though...The happiness of a dream world, or the cruelty of the real world...If you had the choice, which would you prefer?
Goemon: Dream world.
Tanukichi: Of course you would! Everything will be just like a good dream. Pon-poko pon-poko...
Goemon: Unn...
---
Omitsu: I’m telling you, I’m not a tanuki! Please believe me!
Goemon: You are a tanuki!
Tanukichi: Pon-poko-pon! You’re absolutely correct! One more thing before the end, though...The happiness of a dream world, or the cruelty of the real world...If you had the choice, which would you prefer?
Goemon: Real world.
Tanukichi: Excellent! Well said! You are a splendid fellow in this day and age, aren’t you? You were pleased with the way your life was. I will undo this town’s jutsu for you.
Goemon: Hoo hoo hoo! It’s obvious! You should always be scared when dealing with the Great Goemon!

Yes, it's long, but let me just say a few things about the format. The video itself is divided into "takes", with each take being a separate attempt by Goemon to get past Omitsu. Each of the "---"s in the script denotes the end of a take. Also, there were lots of repeats in the actual video footage. In order to save time and my computer's RAM, I decided to cut out some of these repeats. If I remember correctly, only one of them has the end of the dialog cut out, while most of them have the early dialog and the part where Goemon wakes up in the middle of the desert cut out. Hopefully, this isn't too confusing. Please note that the script as it is seen here is as it is in the actual video, all cuts included. Now, onto the "good stuff."

First of all, it's probably worth mentioning that this is the first scene that was translated without the help of a native speaker. This was translated almost entirely by Sarahsuke and me. With that being said, the likelihood of translation errors is pretty high. I don't know if I'll eventually have my grandmother check this for accuracy or not.

Now then, anybody who wants to read up on tanukis can go here. Now that that's out of the way, let's look at the actual scene.

The tanuki's tactics are simple. Seduce Goemon to cloud his mind and make sure he doesn't get past, so the town could remain under its spell. Omitsu seemed like the best person for the job. Why not Yae? Well, the most obvious reason is that she's currently on a different moon, and it's not really conceivable that she would halt her mission to see Goemon about this (please, let's not discuss how inconceivable it would be for Omitsu to fly to another planet). Another reason is that Yae has never once expressed any romantic interest in Goemon. But has Omitsu? Well, chances are, yes, even in the games. Keep in mind how many times Goemon has saved her. Also, she's clearly on his mind a lot. The whole reason for him going on the quest in Goemon Gaiden 2 is so that he could get enough money to take her on a lavish date. Also note that "Omitsu" accused him of liking Yae more than her, and he denies it either way.

One of the most challenging issues I've come across so far was in this scene, and was largely responsible for the delay in translation. The problem was first person personal pronouns. Though English has only one that I know of that could work in this situation ("me"), Japanese has a bunch ("watakushi", "watashi", "boku", "atai", and "ore", to list a few), with varying degrees of politeness and even ones that are used more by one gender than another. Whereas Omitsu usually uses the second one, she ends up using the fifth one (pronounced "o-ray") in this case. If you look back at the script, I'm looking specifically at where she says "Well, do you suppose anybody is as charming as li’l old me?". "Li'l old me" was a contribution from Sarahsuke, and I'm glad she suggested it because it works better than anything I've been able to come up with since. So, rather than making her speech rougher than usual, she speaks more politely (making her a Southern belle, of sorts). This also works out nicely when she starts to lose it and claims she actually said "olé" (which does sound quite a bit like the Japanese word "ore"). That part of the translation didn't have to change.

The "Pon-poko" stuff is a sound that's typically associated with tanukis. Specifically, it refers to a drumming sound (probably drumming on their large stomachs), and those two "words" are repeated as much as needed. With that being said, in retrospect, it might not have been such a good idea to have him say "Pon-poko-pon"...

Remember, if you will, that the screwy town where Goemon finds this tanuki includes a chapel where he's apparently getting married to Omitsu, and another house where they're holding a funeral for Ebisumaru (I'm not sure if I mentioned this...EBISUMARU, NOOOOOO!!!). If this is the "dream world" that the tanuki mentions, the one that promises "happiness," does that mean that Goemon's dream world is one where Ebisumaru is dead? Holy crap, I hope not!

Well, that's about it, I guess. Hope you guys enjoyed learning about Ganbare Goemon 4. It's a great game.

So, is there anything else coming? Well...I'm not quite sure. The tentative answer is yes, but it'll probably be a while before you see anything of that. I just started the fall semester, and I still have no idea how difficult it's gonna be. On top of that, I might have to look for a new emulator (since I'm moving to a game on a different system, and the one I have now can't record video). As I often say, we'll see.